This year has been a really hard year. Even though 2020 holds some of my most special memories – like getting married, buying a house and finally saying goodbye to long distance, I am relieved that it is coming to a close. However, this year has also been one of my most challenging years for my mental health. I don’t want to talk about mental health lightly because I know how serious it is.

Towards the end of this year I experienced something a bit traumatic (will share that story later on) and it led me down a road of negative self talk and unhealthy comparison to every single girl I saw not only on Instagram but everywhere I went – the grocery store, the airport, etc. Waking up in the morning started to become more difficult as I didn’t want to look in the mirror. I cried many nights feeling like I wasn’t good enough or pretty enough. No matter how many times Eddie told me I was beautiful, I just didn’t feel like I was. This escalated and on top of feeling less than, I started to convince myself that it was true.

The way I was talking to myself internally, I realized, was extremely unhealthy. Instead of knowing my self worth, believing in myself and pushing away the bad thoughts, I was letting the negativity consume me. I’m not going to get into the full story because I will go more in depth when I’m more comfortable sharing, but to give you an idea of how serious this got – I lost 15 pounds in a very short period of time. I wasn’t eating, I hated myself and considered deleting my social media and blog. This is a great reminder that what you see on social media is a highlight reel.

Over time, and with the help of my family and friends, I knew I had to make a change. There are still good days and bad days, but I have gotten past the really dark days. Throughout this time I have learned a lot about myself and I have found a few things that have helped get me out of that dark hole. Taking care of our mental health is so important. I would love to hear what helps you when you fall into comparing yourself to others, and I hope these tips below can make a difference for you!

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

• Learn how to shut down negative thoughts. It is much easier said than done, and it might take you some time. It can be incredibly difficult but you can’t let them keep creeping in. Something that helps me is my Pinterest board ‘Words to Live By.‘ I save pins there that are uplifting, encouraging and empowering and it really helps me to re-visit them.

• Get off of social media. I love a love-hate relationship with my social media and there are many times when I need to step away, even if it’s just for a day. If you are struggling with comparison, social media is not the place to be. Like I said before, Instagram is often times a highlight reel and life isn’t always as perfect as it may seem on the internet. Don’t let it allow you to start comparing yourself to others there. Remember, everyone is facing their own battles.

• Focus on the good parts of you. Everyone has their flaws and insecurities, but everyone also has their strengths. What’s yours? It’s so easy to focus on your bad features, but if you put more emphasis on the good, there won’t be as much room for your weak points. This always helps me. What are you grateful for?

• Remember that you are unique. There is nobody in the world that can offer the world what you can. Try to remind yourself of that when you feel down. You are the only YOU. How cool is that?

• Simplify things. Do you ever walk into a room and the clutter makes you feel uncomfortable? That’s sometimes how I feel with life. When there’s too much going on, or too many thoughts going through my head, it is overwhelming and not good for my mental state. It helps me to “declutter” my brain and that can mean venting to someone, writing it all down and letting go of the thought anxiety.

• Give yourself grace. It’s going to be okay. It may not seem like it right now, but it will get better. Don’t be so hard on yourself. In this fast paced world, it’s easy to see others progress and feel bad about our own. Let yourself have the hard days and work really hard to create more good days. With a little patience and a lot of grace, days will get much brighter.

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What helps you when you start comparing yourself to others?