“Distance is not for the fearful, it’s for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend time alone in exchange for a little time with people they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.”
If you follow me on Instagram (@sophiaidewald), you will know that I have successfully made it through a year in a long distance relationship from Pennsylvania to South Florida (1,144 miles but who’s counting?). This last year has taught me a lot and has given me a new respect for all couples/friends/family that go through this thing we call long-distance. First let me start off by saying, yes it is worth it.
In 2017, 14 million couples consider themselves doing long distance in the United States alone. That’s a whole lot of people! It definitely is not for everyone, but it is possible and it is worth it. It is, however, so different for everyone. There are couples that consider themselves long distance that live 3 hours apart and there are couples who also consider themselves long distance and they live on opposite sides of the globe. I want to share a little bit of my story in hopes that it helps at least one of you reading but I would love, love, love to hear your tips! Read our long distance Q+A here.
How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship
- Keep it in perspective. Like any situation, you have to remember that things could be worse. If you see your boyfriend/girlfriend once a month and you think that your life is completely terrible, think of those couples that see each other twice a year, or have to deal with different time zones. There are worse things in life…be thankful for what you have!
- Keep yourself busy. If you keep yourself busy with things you enjoy, you will spend less time dwelling on the fact that you miss your significant other and can’t be together. Focus your energy on activities that make you happy so you don’t find yourself slipping into a ball of sadness (this happens to me sometimes and it isn’t fun). My boyfriend likes to golf…so I got him personalized golf balls so when he is out with the guys, there’s a little piece of me there with him.
3. Share your interests. When you spend so much time apart doing separate things, try to keep your significant other involved. It is easy to feel “left out” or that you are missing out on things going on in your boyfriend/girlfriend’s life. My boyfriend is into woodworking and we spent time together building a bird house. I am an equestrian and I take him horse back riding. Working together on each other’s hobbies and interests helps to feel more involved when you can’t physically be there.
4. When you do get to spend time together, don’t waste a minute! If you follow me on Insta (@sophiaidewald) you will know that most of our visits are 24-48 hour trips and they really feel like 4 hours. We find ourselves up at 6 a.m. and asleep at 1 or 2 a.m., trying to make the most of every single second. Recently, my boyfriend, Eddie’s visit lasted 27 hours and I have never had a more perfect day in my life. We woke up really early, took bikes to Palm Beach Island, rode around, found a tree, tied our hammock and had a picnic. You can see a video here (and subscribe for more videos).
5. Facetime, Facetime, Facetime. If you cannot be together, see each other. Make a point to FaceTime every night or when it’s convenient for you. Don’t get comfortable texting and calling all the time. FaceTime gives you something to look forward to.
6. Tell him exactly how you feel. When you can’t physically be together it is so important to communicate everything openly and transparently with your partner. Miscommunication and holding things back will only complicate the situation and cause unnecessary problems.
7. Plan for the next trip while you are together. Texting “Hey, wanna hangout?” does not exist in long distance. You have to plan and trying to book flights when you have no idea what your schedule looks like in a month can get tricky. Do the best you can. It helps if you compare schedules when you are together and try to make a plan for the next visit.
8. Keep falling in love. Flirt, dance, laugh, be old fashioned and keep falling in love over and over and over again. When you first meet up in the airport, cherish those special moments. Surprise each other, make dinner for one another and be spontaneous.
9. Go on trips, big or small. We went to Georgia during Christmas and got to explore a new state together, got away from our regular visiting routine and got to make new memories. It helps to change things up a bit sometimes. You can see a video of that here.
10. Set goals as a couple. Some people do long distance for a year, some do it for ten years. We have no idea how long we will have to be apart, but we talk about our goals, where we see our future and how we see ourselves in the next couple years. It helps to have something to work towards and keeps things exciting.
I am going to start a “Long Distance Relationship” board on my Pinterest and will share with you what I find along my long-distance journey.
How do you do long distance? What works for you and what doesn’t? Comment below!
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